Dear mattdadd,

I am so sorry about the situation you describe. In my opinion, "maturity" and "immaturity" do not constitute two boxes where one is either in one or the other. They constitute a range of values. Everyone is mature in some ways and immature in others. I also think there are both helpful and unhelpful types of maturity.

Often what is called "immaturity" is related to processes in the brain, normal and pathological. So I would never want to label someone "immature" since it is generally regarded as a derogatory term.

Human beings are made of up of trillions of things and I don't think anyone could truthfully or justly be "summed up" with a label like "immature." That would be a gross oversimplification of what is a deep and complex reality. To label oneself in this way, I think would not only be inaccurate and just to you, but would be untruthful to truth itself and unjust to justice itself. You are a million times more that any on part or aspect of yourself.

I would be happy to share with you ideas I have learned about maturity and how to acquire it from cognitive therapy if you are interested. I won't write them now since you may be uninterested in them. Let me know if you are interested and I will share them with you.

In any case, I hope you find ways to have peace of mind in your struggle and also joy of living. It takes a great deal of heroism to tolerate oneself and be patient with oneself when one finds things in oneself that one regards as unwelcome. So I think you are very heroic.

I wish you only the best.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen