Hi Christine,

Thank you for your input. Question for you. Would your opinion change if I told you that he DOESN'T say these things when we talk on the phone? I mean, YEAH, he talks dirty to me because we're 1200 miles away and hot for each other, but we also discuss the difficulties of making relationships work. Of dealing with someone else's quirks and how they can drive you crazy and how you have to learn to compromise. He's a Taurus. For anyone who follows astrology they tend to be very relationship-oriented.

I feel like everyone here latched on to his secretary sex doll comment and I guess I can see why. It's what I put out there. I put it out there to say that at first I had no idea where he was coming from. We talked pretty consistently until I had told him to not contact me until we could do something. So actually the FIRST text I got was we should get together this weekend and that's when I told him I had left the state. He told me I sucked for running.

The next text I got after that was he was going to buy me a car, put it in my name so that I could drive him to work every day. When I asked him where I was supposed to live he told me he'd buy a van and I could live in the back of it. I sat there like WTF???? I didn't pick up the phone immediately. Don't know if I picked up the phone at all. I just texted him asking what he was talking about. Did he get a DWI? By the way, my car got totaled right before I left Florida and he knew that because I had sent him a pic of it. At that time I didn't know which end was up and was still bitter about the runaround I felt I got in Florida and didn't engage too much. Pretty sure we did have a conversation where I showed how bitter I was and we went for another week or two without much communication. P.S. No DWI and his car is still running. THIS IS JUST HIS CRAZY WAY!

So chauffer didn't work and he comes at me wth secretary sex doll. It definitely got my attention. Again, WTF???? I was more ready to talk now. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE???"

"You should come back."
"I have no place to live down there and I can't afford a move right now."
"Let me bring you down for a weekend."

NOW the lines of communication were really open. I told him how I didn't appreciate the runaround and he apologized. Told me that it was really a bad time for him, the loss of control of no car, not having the money to fix it (much less a rental as someone suggested) and the anxiety that it was causing in his life. When I asked why I should even consider turning my life upside down to make this happen he said, "Am I not different this time around? Is this not better?"

As I read that last line I just typed, sure - someone could say he's improving his approach with me to get his way for nefarious reasons. If you WANT to see him as some master manipulator it's easy to do. OR, if you're a doe-eyed optimist like me, you can see him as someone who just opened up a little bit because he's trying to get closer because he WANTS a real relationship. Somewhere in this newly opened line of communication he had mentioned us getting a place together.

We do a lot of communicating by text and when he comes with these wacky things out of context - before I knew WTF was going on, it's perplexing but if anything, it got my attention. Sure he COULD HAVE made that first text say he's sorry and fessed up about the anxiety, but obviously, it's not his way. Now I know how to take his texts in the spirit of which they're sent.

He's vegetarian but I know he eats cheese. This morning I asked him if he likes eggs. He comes back, "Did I say eggs? I said cheese. Is an egg cheese? JESUS FKING CHRIST I'M GOING TO LOSE MY FKING MIND!!!!! No eggs." That's not an actual tirade. That's play.

So now that I feel I have better painted a more accurate picture of him so that MAYBE people would think he's less of an opportunist and more of someone searching for a soulmate I will ask again, has anyone had the experience of both being at places where you feel like you need help and the relationship helped each of you help each other? I'm seeing Joon and Sam making grilled cheese sandwiches at the end of Benny and Joon. Two wacky people making a go of it and will hopefully be better together. (Thankfully neither of us is as off the beam as Sam or Joon lol.)