Yikes. Underneath all this is an indication that you're still needing support/therapy that you're choosing to defend a person you don't know to a bunch of online strangers. Maybe you're just defending him to yourself. I suspect all this is due to the fact that you're physically attracted to him and he's making you "feel" sexy. There's a lot of red flags here.

What stood out to me was not about the sexy secretary bit. It was more about him asking you to move back 1200miles to LIVE with him, after only meeting him ONCE.

Careful what personal information you share with this guy. I bet money he'll use it against you one day.

He's emotionally unavailable and so are you. Can you be supportive of each other? No. You will feed off from each other, instead. If you start a relationship with toxicity, you're setting the tone of what expectations you have of it. Raise the bar!