I started the thread to simply ask if two people have issues, can they be stronger together? I gave maybe too much information because had that been the ONLY thing I said, perhaps the replies would have been different. Maybe they wouldn't have, but maybe they would.

I defend him because I'm only giving you guys a snapshot of comments in time. You don't know me and you don't know him. I DO place more value on what those who KNOW me believe, however, because this is a forum about people talking about psychological issues and stuff I figured it was a good venue for the question.

I'm well aware that we don't really know each other and there is so much more to learn. Maybe he IS the a-hole everyone seems to think he is. I don't believe that, but it's possible. I'm not naive. Anything is possible. Everything I said about him here is offputting to everyone, but I AM excited because he's a guy I really like. He's absolutely nuts and it's one of the things I most appreciate about him. So yeah, I DO want to be with him and I am hoping that when we do spend some time together this weekend that it's clearer one way or the other whether this is something worth pursuing.

Another thing that my choice of words may have led people to think I'm the crazy one is about uprooting my life. I lived 11 years in Florida and had an issue when visiting family in CT in 2017. Instead of returning, I stayed because I found out about an undergrad program that I wanted to pursue locally. I was never intending to move to CT but ended up doing so. After graduating, I moved back to Florida in December 2019 but things didn't go according to plan. I was running out of money and the pandemic hit making it harder to get a job so I returned home to family. I was never meant to be here so if I ended up moving BACK to Florida to be with a guy that I really like, it's not the worst thing in the world. That's where my son is.

There was a study done (can't find it) about the sticking power of negativity. It went something like this:

If I tell you that I have a medical treatment that has a 20% success rate, you might be willing to try. But if I then told you that it had an 80% failure rate, you wouldn't. The results are exactly the same, but your perception isn't. If I start by telling you that it has an 80% failure rate, the fact that I later tell you it's got a 20% success rate isn't enough to change your mind. 20% success was good enough when presented first, but not enough to overcome the 80% failure.

That's how I'm feeling about this thread. At this point there is nothing I can say for people to be able to undo the negative associations they've made based on my first post and the further comments from people about red flags.

That being said, I appreciate everyone's concern and wishes of luck. What is meant to be, will be. I'm hoping that this becomes something good. That I have a partner in crime for a while, even if not for the rest of my life. And maybe he and I help each other in the process.