Well...I made a pretty hysterical and embarrassing post last night and have since deleted it thank god though I’m sure some of you saw it. I was just imagining scenarios in my head and freaking myself out. After I wrote it out though I calmed down enough to go back to bed around 3:30 and try to sleep again. But I couldn’t still. I was still trying to quiet my thoughts. After the freak out, I just had music bouncing around my head, snippet of one song to the next. I fell asleep around 5am. It is now 6:15am and I am back awake.

I’m not sure how I’m going to function at work today. I feel like listening to everyone talk on the phone at one time is going to aggravate the hell out of me. At least I don’t have to actually go in looking like hell like I’m sure I do. My eyeballs feel like they’re about to pop out of my head.

I just don’t know. The haldol withdrawal in January was NOTHING like this. I barely noticed it. Maybe a minor sleep interruption. That was it. And I had been on it for 1.5 years at that point. But maybe it’s the coming off and going back on and coming off again? But then, my main pdoc said I could take it PRN.

This has absolutely never happened to me. Even when manic, I’ve always gotten between 4-6 hour of sleep each night. I’ve never stayed up till 5am, much less two days in a row. And I am not euphoric, I dint want to drink, I don’t want to have we’d. I’m angry and annoyed. I’m not mixed because I’m not depressed at all. I just want to sleep and you can get if I had a sleep med on hand I would keep taking it every hour until I fell asleep regardless of silly thing like “dose limit”.

I sent my IOP therapist A desperate email in the middle of the night too so we’ll see if she gets back to me or not. Wish me luck.