Don't be embarrassed... you're here because you're trying to figure it out. That's better than just quitting. I know how you feel about food and eating to make yourself feel better. Food has always been here for me... people, not so much. It sounds like you are figuring out your triggers, which is the first step. Changing behavior is very difficult, because these patterns get ingrained in our minds-- literally, neuronal pathways that correspond to these habits get ingrained in our brains. Are you seeing a counselor? CBT has been shown to help with changing thought patterns. I am really impressed that you were willing to share your story, it takes a lot of courage to be able to do that. Wishing the best for you :-)