Yes, my late husband used to invalidate me a lot. He used to downplay my feelings or blame me for them. He would say, “how can you do this to me” in regards to depression. Like if I started getting depressed, he would tell me I better not because I couldn’t put my family through that, like it was somehow my fault or I was doing it intentionally. Brought me right back to childhood when my mom would tell me I can’t be depressed because she can’t handle it anymore.

I’m sorry you suffered such abuse. That sounds horrific. Thankfully, I never experienced anything that bad. I just experienced extreme emotional neglect, even physical neglect. I always had enough to eat but my mom didn’t pay attention enough to have me do simple things like shower. I had to learn that on my own after I got made fun of in school. I also didn’t have much clothing, and what I did have was old and ratty, though we could afford at least off brand stuff. She just never went out to buy it. But oh, you could be sure she bought things for herself. She’s a hoarder. She got herself into serious dent.

Anyway this isn’t about me.