Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar
Just to try and understand more, what is it exactly that's annoying and concerning to you? Is it the marijuana itself? Certain opinions you have on it? or maybe they act irresponsibly or some type of way for the sake of weed.
In which case, the issue might not be the weed but the attitude and behavior.
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Most annoying is that my husband is not having any boundaries with our son. My husband is very addicted and has struggled because of it and I think it’s best to model and teach limits, rather than to teach being as high as possible as much as possible. I am worried my son will struggle like my husband does. My husband is an all or nothing type. There is just never enough weed. He cannot think to do anything without it. There is just no reason to be sober anymore. I don’t feel like I’m dealing with an adult sometimes.
For about six months to a year he had a sober period and it was so nice to engage with the “real” him. He was happy too. Then, i got diagnosed with cancer, and he started smoking again to cope with it, and was quickly back to 24/7. That was 8 years ago.
I just always hoped he would get a handle on this and we could have a more engaged life together. Now, he has our teenager as a smoke buddy and he indulges more than ever. He hid from me that our son was smoking and that he was smoking with him for months and told my son to lie about.
I feel like he uses our son somehow with the whole thing, I can’t explain it. My husband was first given weed by his mom when he was like 16. someone was in the hospital and she thought it was a hard time so she thought getting the kids high would get them through? They would smoke if there was fights or problems and they would smoke as motivation to work. My husband saw this as crippling to him. He also has said that weed is his best friend and saved his life when he was 17/18 and struggling with an abusive dad.
Due to his past, he is not thinking about our son I don’t believe, rather he is struggling with himself. I understand my son will experiment but there is so much deeper stuff woven into all this and I just feel like it’s clipping my sons wings somehow.
I love my guys and I work to balance my thoughts of what I think is best, and what they are doing, but i am feeling concerned and frustrated. They’re just very caught up in it. For my son, it’s probably like a new toy. It is self medicating, too, which can be good/bad.
I have nothing against weed, but addiction is a problem in my experience. Addiction is controlling and selfish and fixed.