Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
People make bad decisions every single day of their life. That’s just part of life. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t make bad decisions on a daily basis. Literally bad decisions daily. It doesn’t really mean anything unless those decisions are deliberately harmful to other people. Clearly that friend of yours make bad decisions too as all of us do
Some behaviors could be changed or at least people can try. I am a bad listener. I don’t listen to anything more than few minutes and then I tune out. I can’t do audiobooks or any long lectures or conversations, tune out within few minutes. So it’s just how it is. It’s annoying in relationships with people though because they have to either put it in writing or have to put up with wasting time of their life telling me what happened and me not having a clue what they just said. I am trying to improve. I make efforts or try to find compromise. Deep inside I still am who I am but I am trying to be a bit better.
There is nothing wrong with people trying to be better for the sake of themselves or for the sake of others. We all should try to be better versions of ourselves
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Agreed!!! I work on improving myself constantly. I feel there's much to work on for myself, but we're all a work in progress. Some people don't work on themselves at all -- awareness is the first step towards changing behavior. When someone is in flat out denial, that makes it impossible to work with them. My husband initially was in total denial of a problem, and that's when I thought I would really have to walk away. In that case, there's nothing to work with. But then he acknowledged his temper, and I felt there was a tiny bit more hope. Then he said he is willing to see a professional IF his temper flares again.
And now? I am not sure I will have the patience IF he yells at me again.
And as far as bad decisions go -- someone once told me that we all make the best decision for ourselves in the moment given the knowledge we currently have. So from that angle, there really are no "bad" decisions. Only decisions that may have certain negative consequences. And if there are negative consequences, we then in hindsight call it a "bad decision" when really, that decision turned out to lead to something negative that we don't like or want.
So, I made the decision to marry my husband. I had doubts, but I went ahead anyways. I knew I had felt great happiness with him previously. On our wedding day when he fought with me, I felt it was too late to back out, but I wanted to. But then, I look happy in all our wedding pictures.
I hate to admit this even to myself, but I will. I just wanted to get married. I was tired of dating. I was tired of being single. I didn't want to continue to be single at the time. I was in my upper 40's, and had never been married. Everyone else around me was coupled up. I couldn't take it anymore. All those years of dating, and of being in and out of relationships seriously wore on me and took a toll. I was very vulnerable and weakened at the time. And it's true: people look at you sideways and all cockeyed thinking something is wrong with you when you say you've never been married and you're that old. And I couldn't bare the thought of calling off the wedding on the day of. It is what it is.
So here I am not knowing what will happen next and not knowing if this marriage will stay together. Last night he gave me a head rub and a back rub because I had a headache and was tired. That went on my list of positives today. He does try to take good care of me, and he does sweet things like that for me.