Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
“I hate to admit this even to myself, but I will. I just wanted to get married”
^There is nothing at all wrong with this! I’m sure it’s a very common reason for many. It isn’t always that they met their soulmate they just couldn’t live without. For me, I found the best man who I wanted to start a life with. Honestly, it was a timing thing more than a ‘can’t live without you’ thing. And there was love just as there is love with you and your husband.
There are many annoying things mine does and I’m sure I also do. I don’t care about things. For example, I’ll just forever pick up his things where he leaves them and put them away. This doesn’t trigger me. It’s the few crazy-making things that need to be fixed or will lead to divorce or a living Hell 
It doesn’t sound to me like you made a ‘bad choice’ with your husband. He sounds like a good man with some behaviors that are too triggering for you to live with. But he’s not a rapist or anything like that. From all the men I’ve ever known (friends’ husbands they’ve told me about too) they ALL have behaviors that are ranging from annoying to deal breaking. |
Thank you for saying as much!
I don't think it's a good reason to get married, but I am sure that many people follow a similar path, OR the timing is right and the seemingly right person came along.
Many women want children, and have only so many years after 30 to be able to have them. So there's that aspect too.
And over 50% of couples get divorced. Then of those still married, what percentage actually have a healthy relationship AND are happily married? I am sure the percentage gets smaller.
My own parents are an exception. They have been happily married for over 50 years, they are each other's best friend and they still are in love and happy together. I think that's most rare to find, and those who are lucky enough to find it, are most lucky indeed.
I think many marriages are difficult and problematic or troubled. Hence the high divorce rate.
And yes, my husband IS a good man in many ways. He really does try to make me happy, and I can see that he tries.
It's not that I get triggered. I don't like that label. It's that some of his behaviors are entirely unacceptable, toxic and abusive. Anyone would protest against these behaviors. So he doesn't "trigger" me; I deserve to be treated with respect and loving kindness at all times, as anyone in a relationship deserves and should expect.