Last week my mom kept saying how hyper I was and this week has been a shitshow of substance misuse and (TMI) masturbation. I talked with my pdoc yesterday for three minutes and told her all was well so she said all seemed well. I went to group the other day but had taken way too much Ativan so I couldn't exactly talk. I stopped taking my pills(Seroquel, prazosin), didn't tell pdoc, oh well not like she would've done anything other than say to take them. I'm still on the injection so it's not like I'm unmedicated. Sleep's relatively fine but I've been taking a lot of downers (benzos, painkillers,weed) if I don't Iget all ragey and don't sleep. Can't concentrate. Went for a walk barefoot and the last time I did that group said I was manic but there was also a lot of snow on the ground back then too I feel like it's not as bad. I'm sober now and I hate it. I want to buy a violin but I lost my card. Also got back in touch with my ex and we're trying to find a time to hang out. So much energy.