Hiya, DechanDawa!

I'm sorry you've been having a bit of a rough time too lately. Hope things are getting better.

Yes, you really get the "deep listening" (versus just "reflecting") thing. It may not be my trainer's fault (I don't know what to call him, he's like a coach for neurofeedback and general "brain stuff"). He's actually a really lovely human, incredibly kind and generous and, at the same time, very real. I can understand why he doesn't see the more difficult aspects of my personality, because I don't show him! (Both because he's super easy to interact with and respectful, so he doesn't tend to trigger me, and because I like him and want to be kind back!)

I think it might be like... if you only ever visit the beach on nice days. The locals might warn you that it can get scary during the storms - floods, lightning, cashing waves. But you say, "Storms? There are never storms! Every time I've been here, it's been beautiful and peaceful!" I think people do that a lot... they assume that all the data points they see paint the whole picture, and don't realize that there may be things happening between those points. And, when you try to tell them, it's almost unbelievable to them, because it doesn't match what they know/see.

But you're right, "not being seen" is a problem. I think it's harder, b/c I don't know that I have an accurate enough picture of myself to project it outwards. I feel like a jumble, so...

>>Well, Guill, I had a "breakdown, breakthrough" sort of experience. What this means is I wallowed in a lot of self-pity...I also spent many, many days in a row not only not being accurately seen but being bullied (by some family members), ignored, and isolated.

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry. I'm not sure from this if you mean that it happened recently, or in the past? Either way, I'm sorry for your experiences with your family.

I hope you have some distance now from them, so you don't have to endure that anymore!

And thanks for the reminders about self-support!

I really enjoyed your story about the village! That's amazing to me, and makes sense. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be in a community like that. I imagine there are some downsides - it might be really hard to be that connected with people you didn't choose.

>>And their greeting, in their language...literally meant, "I see you."

That's beautiful! Thanks for sharing it!