Hi there, I'm sorry you are struggling. It's hard right now with COVID 19 to be able to have privacy during sessions with mental health professionals. I'm sorry that you are going through so much right now. I have a hard time feeling anger so I don't really know what to say about the anger you are feeling. But I do have a long history with self harm and I know how hard it is to not do it when you are triggered. Perhaps you can work on a safety plan with your therapist? Mine includes calling friends, doing something nice for myself, doing some exercise, then it escalates to calling my T then going to the hospital. I hope you can stay safe until you can talk to your therapist. Lots of hugs if wanted. Kit