I came across this video talk and found it VERY helpful. I am definitely one who asks the why and listening to this really helped me see some things in a different way. And actually, it does go along with what I shared about the Well analogy.

What is emotional blackmail and why to people do that? - Yahoo Video Search Results

Ok, this just shows my general search, sorry.

The one that helped me is "why do people emotionally abuse"

YouTube