Quote:
Originally Posted by MissUdy
Hi SoAn,
I struggle with this too. Do you know what makes you pull away when small things happen between you and other people?
For me, it’s because I can’t stand the possibility of being hurt, and if they can hurt me in some small way, then they can do it in a big way too. I don’t like the idea of needing someone. I am pretty bad at showing emotions. Also I’ve never been very sure of who I am, so it was almost impossible for me to feel close to anyone, when I don’t know who ‘I’ am. They couldn’t meet the real me.
I think it would work best if I could accept people for who they are, and that their actions say much more about them than about me. Maybe then I would feel closer to people. Also I think a lot of people who appear to have really close relationships actually don’t know each other that well.
Ok so I am still struggling with this, but I think getting to know myself better has helped with it overall.
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Hey MissUdy,
Yes, definitely - showing my emotions is difficult for me, and also precisely what I'm practising with my therapist and increasingly with friends. I really resonate with what you say about people not knowing you, because you are not really showing who you are.
Also what you say about fearing being hurt, that runs through a lot of my behaviour with other people. It feels like a leap into scary territory to even wait and see if someone may actually be trustworthy, but then again if I don't take it, I'm probably never gonna have closer relationships.