Thanks, everyone.

@divine1966, thank you. I agree. My friend was waaay off based. i am talking to her again today and will correct her. It's not like I don't love him enough, it's that there's so many issues, each of which can be a dealbreaker. And thank you about the job... it's very disappointing!!!

@RockyRoad007, thank you.... I am pretty sure he would have to be on disability in order to receive alimony, but I will check with a lawyer when I call. He is working full time and is not out of work on disability. It didn't scare me per se, but your post did make me think. It's ok, no worries there. And thank you as well about the job loss.

@MsLady, thank you for the hugs! Though it hasn't been two years of an uphill battle. It's been off and on. I don't mean to sound mean by saying this, but you yourself have been with a toxic partner for six years. I don't think you're married to him, but you share children, right? It's hard to just up and leave, as you personally have experienced or have decided for yourself. And it does take planning. And like I said there were six months after we married where I was happy and content. It's confusing at this point, but I am trying to keep a clear head, know my boundaries and limits and make a decision with a clear head. I am not rushing into a decision. It's a marriage, it's a life we built together. And I do love him.

God may have given me what I "needed' for personal growth, but he didn't give me what I wanted. I should have said "you know what I want" instead of "you know what I need".