I continue to bite the bitter (as Chinese say), when it comes to stress. Other than what I describe as a "tight fist twisting in my stomach", I have experienced intermittent anger/irritability as a result of a variety of things. My jaw clenching has increased, accordingly. Sometimes I taste what was a familiar foul flavor of infection, before my two root canals. I'm truly hoping that is my usual sinusitis and not new tooth issues. The latter would be beyond our means of dealing with.

My father is not coming home today. His stay at the assisted living facility is yet again extended. He never wants to return home. The sad reality is that neither of my siblings nor I even want him to ever return home. But of course money is an issue in all of this. If/when we can get him to a neurologist and psychiatrist, perhaps we can more easily fight to get his LTC insurance to pay something. He had a neurologist appointment set for tomorrow, but that is now delayed again because a) he could not return to the assisted living right away if he left there tomorrow, and then would be fully quarantined to his room for 14 days after, and b) it's likely the neurologist would reject him coming because there are still 4 cases of covid 19 at his assisted living facility (possible exposure).

Honestly, we don't know what to do right now, in regards to our dad. I told my sister that if the we never get his LTC insurance to pay and he never wishes to come home, that we might have to accept that all of his money, and possibly even his house/property will be eaten up over the next four years. There are cheaper assisted living facilities he could move to, but they may be far away. [A friend in Michigan runs a nice one for $4,000 per month, while the one near us in NJ is $8,000 per month.] "New Jersey and You, Perfect Together!" "What a Difference a State Makes!" [NJ state slogans.] He may not wish to move. Eventually, if all of his money/property is gone, Medicaid would kick in. At that time, he may have to move to a cheaper place. A nursing home. Who knows if he will even be with us by that point. If he does have dementia, it's likely he won't.

My husband and I feel the same about our current situation. We've started to dislike where we live and the struggles associated with it. We want to run away together, but for now we're trapped.