Hi OliverB. I do not have a history of more classic deliberate self harm or self harm ideations. The only form I have experienced was slapping my own face/head or punching walls with my hands/arms/head, but that was only during my very worst episodes, and I have a feeling that it was not done with exactly the same intention that people who cut (or similar) have. Honestly, I don't know. In any case, I did notice that only yesterday you posted a thread expressing clearly depression-type symptoms. Now you reference elation, and yet still express a desire to self harm. I can't help but wonder if you are experiencing some mixed state. I do know that during mixed states, lots of odd and scary stuff is possible. I hope you will contact your psychiatrist/therapist, as soon as possible, to share about these mood fluctuations, and of course your self harm urges/fantasies.

I know that there are members here who have issues with SH. I hope you hear from them, as well.

Please stay safe!