Cool stuff. It was mentioned, the blackmailer will actually be asking for legitimate needs sometimes but goes about it in the wrong way. Self sabatoge. I'm starting to try and put less emphasis on understanding her and more on understanding myself. But since we're talking about it, I kinda feel bad. She goes on these long rants for days/weeks but ends them with, "I'm done. I don't want to hear anything you have to say." So we never get to solutions. I hope eventually she runs out of steam and in desperation asks me for help. Either way, I'm at the point where I can't turn back. I can't play these games with her. I can't give in to the blackmail. She can't hold my thoughts, feelings and needs hostage any more. I am starting to really feel like a good person inside. I refuse to give that to her. If she wants to work things out, she needs to come to the table ready to talk like civilized adults.