Welp, clearly, something very odd is going on with me right now. I somehow decided yesterday that it would be a good idea to drink a beer. I don't drink. I am in recovery. For more than 12 years. Did not get drunk or go on any kind of a bender, but, it is very, very strange that I could ever, ever consider this to be a good decision. Just not really sure what is happening with me at the moment.

I had huge addiction issues in my younger days, mostly, I believe, when suffering from bipolar episodes not yet diagnosed or treated. Since being somewhat, well, at least, better, managed in terms of bp stuff, addiction has been a total non-issue. Easy as pie now. Impossible then. Cakewalk now. Until yesterday.

Oh well. Need to see my pdoc. I have really struggled over the past 9 months. Psychosis better at the moment, but still not totally stable, clearly. Weird. I am too weird.