If I didn't have my mom, my schizophrenia would have progressed to severe and chronic constant misery I think.

And I'd be dealing with police that wouldn't be nice to me because I can't advocate for myself and they aren't really that educated on mental illness.

It's getting better though.. I think mental health awareness is gonna get 2-3x better in the next 5 years just based on past predictions.

The world is getting better.. I think the next revolution would put all the previous ones in perspective.. Although I feel a bit scared about it and don't want it to be too severe.

When overdosed on psilocybin and had like 20 different research chemicals in my pocket, the nurses were opening them at the nursing station saying "Where did you get this hydromorphone? etc" and I was laughing and laughing and then started crying.. I felt really bad for having so many schedule 1 chemicals..

One cop was very empathetic and so calm with me. She really calmed me down and didn't charge me for all the chemicals that I had. I was sent to the psych ward the morning after.. My mom wiped the tears from my eyes and then I fell asleep. She stayed with me all night in the hospital room.

I saw the cop again last week because she arrived to help clean out the meth room that my moms renter turned into a crack ***** house and I remembered her face. I just had a feeling. I didn't remember any of what has happened.

I remember being horribly horribly depressed when I was 16.. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks and they took care of me. I didn't understand and because of the lack of mental health awareness, the cops and nurses didn't understand either.. They just wanted me to be safe and to not kill myself. They brought me food and my mom visited every day after work. I went on my computer with a USB wifi stick and read some books - Including the OCD one by howie mandel, "Don't look me in the eyes" and watched the movie "Beautiful mind" - Hearing voices when they were at the worst.

I would like a day where there's all good cops like the ones I've dealt with. I should have had a criminal record - But I don't. It's amazing. And all the people that do are screwed. It's sad. I feel sorry for the prostitutes and the kids living in that house.

I want to cure addiction at least - For people to only do hippie drugs - Take meth as prescribed for narcolepsy. Idk how people get addicted and don't just stop.. But all the communities that are poor, they want to escape from pain - They think a stimulant will lift them up or people addicted to opioids move to because of Big Pharma.

I want to take down Big Pharma. I have my little save the world ambitions like everyone else and the convictions etc.. I don't think cops target black men as bad in Canada as they do in the US - It has to do with something really deep - The government.. and I think more black men have schizophrenia than any other race.. Or latino.. idk.. But imagine not being on meds and the cops don't understand, are racist and want to oppress?

But yeah.. the world is in pain and I'm doing mentally well right now, grateful that I still have at least 70% of the cognition I had and not 30% or something..