<blockquote>Silversparrow: I don't have a therapist or psychiatrist..I'm to scared to go to one so I keep making excuses to not make an apointment with one..

I can appreciate your concerns about seeing a psychiatrist -- they are afforded a great deal of power over others, the drugs they prescribe as a rule of thumb can produce a startling array of side-effects, and their recovery rate ranges on the low side on a global scale. There are some very good psychiatrists out there of course, and some are more skilled than others. If you were to see one, you might find it best to shop around and be discerning in who you choose to work with, assuming you can afford to take that route -- many people can't.

As an alternative however, perhaps you could arrange to see a therapist -- not for your fears about schizophrenia but about those bad memories. There are more theories on the causes of schizophrenia and psychosis than you could hope to shake a stick at and at least a few of them suggest a strong link between schizophrenia and earlier trauma. It's been further suggested that the schizophrenic episode itself is an attempt by the psyche to heal.

For more information on various causes, try here: Presumed Causes of Schizophrenia & Psychosis

See also: Controversies Over the Cause of Schizophrenia.

If you've not yet found them you might also enjoy the links related to voice hearing in the Resources area.

Best of luck to you.