I have to contact my therapist because my spending is out of control. I literally buy things impulsively because in the moment, I think they look "super cool" or "really fun," but when I get them in the mail, I'm like "meh, don't wanna do this anymore." I also cannot return most of these things. For example, some are used books, some are kindle ebooks, a bunch are shoes, some are used electronics, a lot was bike stuff that I already used, etc.. I can probably return maybe $200 worth of the things I got... because I'm an idiot who thinks "ooooo. What a great deal on used things!" and "last-chance clearance is awesome!" I don't want to have to sell everything on eBay or whatever. It's not worth the headache.

I don't think it's mania at all. I think I'm just being super impulsive for no good reason. Maybe it's because I'm bored? I'm also super distracted and can't focus on work because I'm thinking about too many things at once. I don't know why all of this is happening, but I really, really hate myself right now.