wow, hard stuff. I know both the pain of the empty nest and of kids doing what your son is up to. My best friend has a son like that and she can't let go. He has stolen thousands from her and it continues. He is 24. it is time to let him go with or without a job. Set the date and make him leave. Tell him that you will not protect him from his own behavior. I really know the sadness. It is so difficult. AAAA said it well. My baby is in college and home for the weekend. I have seen little of her this semester. I also have a son who was not like yours but bad enough and he moved out, took a year to really grow up but is now doing pretty well. I hope you can kick him out and measure carefully the help you give him. At his age it would be good to also force the inpatient treatment option. If you go to treatment I will do=== to help. As hard as this may sound I might even personally call the police if he steals again, or when, and also lock up tighter then fort knox. Good luck to you with whatever you decide. It is haed stuff from any side of the coin but from watching my friend I can say that her kid's life is worse now because she was unable to set boundaries with him.