Hey Beth,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you're going through and I can really relate. I haven't experienced the sort of abuse you have, but I have felt the frustration of having shared something personal and then realizing that it hasn't come through. And it can be really awful feeling unable to effectively convey how you're doing and what you're experiencing.

Thank you. Yes, it feels terrible. Maybe I haven't been clear enough with my therapist. Maybe I need to straight out tell her that as long as therapy by video is required, I need to take a break from therapy. I've hinted at it, but she seems to skirt around it.

I also share your hatred of video sessions. I have the exact same feeling that it has destroyed the close bond that I so carefully cultivated. I'm trying to be hopeful that it can be restored, but I find that difficult to really believe.

I feel the same way. And I'd rather stop doing video therapy than throw everything away that I have gained from therapy (IRL) so far.

I also have the unpopular opinion that the mass hysteria surrounding covid-19 and the damage caused by the hysteria (such as the cost in mental health) is far, far worse than the virus itself, which is indeed a nasty virus but not the unprecedented plague it's made out to be. For me, seeing all that mass hysteria just feeds the helplessness and the anxiety that society is totally unhinged and I have no idea if and when my access to therapy will be taken away again.

A month ago I would have disagreed. I was watching everything about COVID on the news media and believing it wholeheartedly.

Now, with the (horrible) situation following the murder of George Floyd, the media never mentions COVID. It seems to be "yesterday's news." So...is it really as pervasive as we thought it was, or is it just a case of media bandwagon? Is it really worth the loss of medical care, including mental health care?

Last week I had surgery on my achilles tendon. It seemed to me that the main focus of the hospital was on COVID. I felt like screaming, I'm having surgery on my leg, I don't have COVID!

There are other medical conditions besides that virus, and those health problems seem to be ignored at this time by medical professionals.

As for the lapse in mental health...potentially disastrous.

It makes me angry that such drastic and damaging measures (denying people proper mental health care) were taken when it would have been enough to just keep our distance from each other and exercise basic hygiene. I can understand closing down restaurants and theaters, but breaking down essential parts of the health care system is ridiculous and unnecessary, in my opinion. I don't really have any help to offer, just wanted to say I'm sorry and I think I understand part of what you're feeling.

Thank you so much, FluffyDinosaur. And I agree. The COVID situation is, in my opinion, being very badly handled by the medical field. As a result, I (and many mental health patients!) am left feeling more shaken up and unsafe than any previous life trauma has caused me to feel. And that is terribly wrong!