His family should appreciate you more because of all the things you did for him. They will not change between now and the funeral. Perhaps you will all go your separate ways after the funeral. Some of the funerals I have experienced were crazy. Given how his daughter acted during the phone call, she is likely to be a piece of work during the funeral.

Do you want to go to the funeral? Usually there are some people at every funeral who act respectfully to all that you can mix with. I tended to quickly express my sympathy to everyone related or connected to the person who was lost and then find a quiet group to mix with. If you decide not to go--my POV is that funerals are for the living, not the dead. You honored him by the way you treated him when he was alive. He will always be a part of you. When you are with someone for 35 years, they were the most influential person in your life. It is terrible if his family is not acknowledging that. If they aren't, I hope they see the error in their ways; however, emotions run very high during funerals.