If people are truly unable to control themselves like due to some type of disorder, then they behave in the same explosive rude manner on the job. They’d be calling coworkers and customers names, scream and make unreasonable demands and they’d be unable to keep any job whatsoever, they’d be fired on a spot every time .

It’s not what’s happening in most cases though. These people who supposedly can’t control themselves, certainly don’t act like this at work or public places (some do but very few) so they CAN control themselves.

They act like this at home either with innocent children who can’t leave or with partners who put up with it. And they behave like this because they know their partners aren’t going nowhere.

If they ever choose a partner who wouldn’t allow such crap, then it becomes either a volatile relationship with both people at each other throat or it never lasts as their partners immediately leave. So people like this choose partners who stick around putting up with crap either because they are too nice or too vulnerable etc They also know that periodically they need to act nice because they have to keep their partners hooked.

Eventually their partners learn that the only way to keep things nice and a peaceful (on a surface) they need to not rock the boat, don’t bring any issues up, don’t address anything, walk on egg shell and then there will be no fights or issues. Then the explosive one can hold all the power.

Then these people go to work and behave. They behave at work and other public places because they can. And they don’t behave at home again because they can.