But that’s what I said if a partner doesn’t put up with this they leave. If you intend to leave then you aren’t going to be that partner. In your case if he keeps acting like this, you said you will leave. You aren’t going to stick around. In case of his ex they both treated each other bad.

Eventually he’ll either need to behave or find someone who’ll stick around and allow it, sadly some people do live like doormats their whole life so he’d either need to be alone or he’ll need to find someone who’ll stick around no matter how he behaves

Yes ADHD could make someone impulsive and it’s harder to control some impulses. But if he doesn’t behave at work like he does at home, then it tells you he can control his words and his behavior. If he couldn’t, he’d act like this at work and he’d not be able to keep a job

PS yes it was general knowledge kind of thing, not saying you are doing something wrong, you said he cannot help it. In my observation and experience most explosive people can help it, might take some work but they can.

Same with demanding monetary things from you. If you never give in he’d eventually have to stop demanding. If he doesn’t stop and in addition gets nasty about it, you will leave. So they can stop or they have to look for doormats, which isn’t you. But I am sure he can behave nicely if he tries and maybe gets help with it if he wants to be better

You not doing nothing wrong. It’s about him if he can get better or he cannot. I believe everyone can if they want to