I’ve been thinking for a year about leaving the relation. And I was thinking mainly of his own wellbeing, since I consider myself the one to be blamed, better said, the one who had changed. I have living a long period when I felt very strange, very far from him emotionally, so, I considered I was the one who failed.
But now I see that a big part of me feeling emotionally cold with him was as a way of protecting me for the treat received.