I thought that when the rest of my life was a battle to be stable, at least I could rely on my mental health providers. They promised me, over and again, how they would never abandon me, blah, blah. I only half-believed them, but now I feel gut-punched because just a little bit I did believe them.
I have discovered that my well-being, and that of other patients, is not their top priority. I feel that my trust has been broken and betrayed.
I was always wary of the news media, knowing that at base, it's entertainment. That said, I thought we could trust the news to give us basic truths, stats, etc. But as you posted, "At this point I'm left without any faith in society, politics, the media, and people's ability to behave rationally and sensibly."
I feel the same way. I feel really anxious and afraid now. Absolutely re-traumatized. I'm trying hard to fight it, but it is a fight.
I know from my own volunteer work and connection to my local mental health community that there are many, many people who feel like you and I do.
And maybe we will get that COVID "second wave" that will prove us wrong.
All I know right now is that I feel lost. I'm trying not to constantly focus on how adrift I feel, but it's hard when my mind keeps going over all of it. I guess all I can do is remember to breathe and work toward not becoming so bitter that I feel even worse than I did when I started therapy.