Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
It's very possible this particular friend does have some ADHD or OCD issues. Given your history of emotional abuse this kind of individual is likely to be triggering for you. They can be charming and outgoing individuals, however, they have short attention spans and are not very good listeners and tend to get aggitated if you expect them to listen more than they can. Yes, and they do interupt and talk over and try to get you to shorten your attempts to get them to listen. It's hard because due to the fact that they DON'T really listen and even forget, you can form a habit of needing to repeat. They have very busy minds and do tend to take over and interupt and run the show. Given that you have social anxiety you probably at first liked that about this person because of how they can fill a conversation and take over which at first takes that pressure off of you.
A person like this is not going to want to listen to your emotional challenges, IT BORES them, they do not have that kind of patience. So, that can lead to your feeling your needs are being rejected. Not good for someone with a history of being emotionally neglected or abused. They are a DIFFERENT kind of problem solver. You are NEVER going to get them to sit with you and your emotional needs no matter how many times you try. They are simply not wired to be able to do that.
Maybe it's not so much your behavior you need to change, but your expectations.
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I'm not sure if she actually has OCD and ADD or if she's lying about that to make me tolerate her behaviour. She is sneaky at times. And manipulative. She hates being direct like me. She thinks it's rude to be honest.
She can control her behaviour, but she chooses not to. She does have a short attention span though and she gets distracted easily. She's bad at listening too. She talks way to much!
She needs to be the center or attention all the time. At first she was trying to be supportive, and she did make me laugh with the way she made fun of our former friend. But even the best stories get old after awhile.
She treated me like a project and she tried to hard to try to change me. She thought she could get me to fit in with her friends in her game group by pushing me to play the hard strategy games I hated. I liked the party games, but I hated those games.
I left the group after I could see the people there started complaining about me not wanting to play their boring games. That's another story though. They were a nit picky bunch and would complain about other things that were stupid too.
It was mostly the women in the group that gave me a hard time except for one lady and my friend from another group. She doesn't seem to care about my emotional needs. I thought that she did at first, but she didn't get me and she'd ask me why can't I be more positive and confident despite me sending her articles on my issues.
She can't relate to anything she's never experienced before. She could only relate to what i went through once when she experienced a similar issue with being rejected by a group she went traveling with.
She agreed with me once when I told her that she's rude and that she lacks empathy. I just ignore her most of the time now. I should've done that a long time ago once I could see that she doesn't respect me and that she doesn't care about my feelings.
She just expected me to sit there and listen to her talk and talk, ugh! She bores other people at times too and my friend from my other group also think that she's rude, annoying, and clueless.
She was smarter than i was and she would just ignore her in the group and ignore her calls. She has finally stopped calling me now! I'll ignore her texts if she starts annoying me too.