I think I hate myself less than I used to but I am still overly critical of myself and harsh with myself. Way harsher than I would ever be with other people. If I would treat others kindly, why wouldn't I treat myself kindly? If you feel up to it, and you may not, maybe try to do one nice thing for yourself every day. Even if it is just getting a shower, or listening to your favorite song. Eventually those little things adds up. FWIW I don't think you deserve to be hated by yourself or by anyone else.