Him being questioned and you aren’t automatically accepting whatever he wants is causing him to blow up then. Not just the money then.

I find interesting that he is the one doing something wrong and you understandably are questioning it. Yet HE explodes. I’d think YOU would be the one to explode when he demands 300 pants or takes your stuff etc. So it looks like as long as you give him what he wants and don’t ever question him, things are peaceful. Its an interesting dynamics. He sounds like my dad a bit except monetary issues, he’d never ask women for money, but he’d get grumpy if someone question him about him possibly being wrong. He doesn’t think he can do anything wrong. Well it’s not an issue in old age anymore actually but it used to be bothersome.

I wish your husband did see someone together or separate to address all this and get to the bottom of it. I doubt it will change unless he makes true effort