I’ve been to so many doctors and spent so much money just to be told to do breathing exercises and sent home. My symptoms are getting worse. I can hardly breathe, I feel like I’m gasping. My heartbeat is rarely lower than 110, even when I’m resting. I am always so tired that I have to sit down every 5 minutes because I start to feel like my legs weigh a ton. I can’t sleep well and even when I do sleep, it is never restful. My chest, back, and shoulders hurt, and it feels as though my spine is in knots. I’m struggling through my shifts at work as a delivery driver. I dread having to walk up even one flight of stairs, and I even fainted once after climbing back down from 3 flights of stairs.
I’m scared this isn’t just anxiety anymore. But no one is listening to me. I’m becoming desperate and impulsive. I have urges to bang my head with my fists, I’ve pulled out some hair before during a panic attack, and I cry every single day. I don’t have a life. I drag myself to work, and when I get home I’m so weak that I just lay in bed until I have to force myself to go back to work. I barely shower, cook, or do anything that I need to.
I think I’m dying and no one will listen to me. I’m afraid that if I can’t get help even from my doctors, I won’t be able to cope anymore. I have a history of suicide attempts, and I’ve worked really hard to be strong. But I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m in so much pain.
Last edited by bluekoi; Jun 04, 2020 at 10:40 AM.
Reason: Add trigger icon.
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