I have no idea if I am that depressed, to have depression. Yet I feel sort of similar my dude. I seem to loathe in my depressed feelings daily. This just doesn't stop for me. I feel that I've gone so far in the deep end with depressed sort of feelings and such, that I've gone so negative that now I feel quite apathetic. People don't seem so lovely to me no more. I don't want to be in a relationship. I just want to chill and get high all day doing nothing with my life. I have schizophrenia and I can control that quite well and I am good with that for some reason, as I got better like many others may not ever. So yea I feel you man, maybe i do have depression, it's kind of hard to get rid of the thought that I really would love to live depressed for the rest of my days. I miss my old life. This ain't right, I had this thought days ago that I was going to buy some morphine pills, down em once, kill myself. Though I have no idea if that's the case now, I'm a little on a downhill slope here. No one's there for me, no one will help me, there's no feelings left in my heart I swear. I'm not the same as I used to be.