Hi Crook. Eight and a half years is a long haul, indeed. How long do you really think you could white knuckle it? Plus, sometimes we are just plain too unwell to even do that.

I understand your partner's anxiety, but this is a test of what means the most. You and your well-being, or money? You say that your parents would accept you being on disability and help support you in various ways. You fear your partner might not? I am glad to read that you are sure of your parents' unconditional love. There are partners/spouses out there that show similar unconditional love.

I am pretty sure that if you were to get on disability that you wouldn't just be languishing in a corner. I do what I can to support my husband, despite disability. There is a lot one can contribute of value to a relationship beyond an 8 am to 5 pm job at an office, factory, or other place. And those alternative contributions are important. I know that my husband finds more value in our marriage now than even before I went on disability. Do we have as much money and financial security? No, but money does not buy happiness. Or if it would for her, would it for you, sufficiently? Partnership/marriage must provide some satisfaction for both parties.

I absolutely understand your dilemma.