Technically we have enough for me to retire and if I could get disability which is what my pdoc wants me to do that will help out some. A lot depends on where the kids go to college and if we are going to pay for it. Our financial advisor recommended I work until fifty to see about college. I just don’t know it I can make it through the week let alone 8 years. If I quit we lose half our income and a lot of security. I understand why my partner doesn’t want me to do it but I do think it is understood how hard each day is for me. I just feel so self destructive right now.