How about having people around you that genuinely respect your "feelings"? From what you share, it sounds like you are with someone that needs a lot of attention and praise and validation and when you have your own emotional needs, you don't get any of your own needs heard. The reason I used the Well analogy is because people pleasers and codependents tend to be trained to lug buckets to the pretty little charming Well, and they don't recognize how the Well is actually very shallow so when they get tired and thirsty and need from that Well, there is isn't enough depth to it that can can fill you when YOU need it. All the pretty little Well does is "superficial petting" as you continue to lug buckets to it so it doesn't dry up due to it being so shallow.

The shallow Well is happiest when it gets to be the center of attention where a lot of people are lugging buckets to it. So, the best place to get that is in an environment where there tends to be a lot of codependents and people pleasers or victims. Honestly, anyone can get sucked into servicing a shallow Well. They get very good in their "petting skills".

When I sat and listened to that talk the other day, I began to think about what kind of rejection I am suffering from. I have definitely been traumatized and "emotionally abused" by an extremely TOXIC person. What I realized about what got me more when it came to rejection is in my effort to reach out for help is I tended to get answers of "just ignore and comments that downplayed the abuse like it can't be THAT BAD". The one thing abusers don't like is "truth". Truth is not important, POWER and CONTROL is what's important to an abuser.

I think you are at a point in your relationship where you need to step back and really think about if "your needs" are important too in your relationship. Is your relationship always about servicing your wife's emotional needs? Sometimes, that dynamic happens in a relationship. Sometimes in a relationship one person is just plain shallow and the other person is doing all the lugging of buckets. It's also important to make sure you are not expecting your partner to fix whatever created your ptsd challenge too. Stepping back and thinking about what in you is feeling "rejection", can help you better define what "hurts" you and if it's something you need to fix yourself. What is it that you want "heard"?