Quote:
Originally Posted by canadien
We found this cousin who we can share our family and work related issues; he became more important for my wife, as he was giving advice and supporting us on various topics;
and they started to talk different somehow his wife is totally detached from him
And, seeing my wife being lost to another man I asked her to stop contact; and than there was resistance and that's when she said that she has wasted 10 years of her life staying with me;
she said that he puts more attention and effort
it seems I supported my wife
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I'm wondering if part of this is due to a cultural status issue? I know in some cultures, the role of the man is of high importance and one who sets the tone within the family.
If this is true, you essentially gave your "baton" away to your cousin. In your wife's eyes,
he became "the man" .. the supporter, the protector, and the adviser. He became her alpha and you were reduced to just another family member living in the house.
You mentioned you supported her but it's as if you became your cousin's shadow since "he" was supporting the both of you. I suspect she needs the alpha in her husband.
Why does she feel she's wasted 10 years of her life? Why does she feel your cousin pays more attention to her than her own husband?
I don't think your problem is with friends. I think there may be something you're overlooking within yourself.
Having an emotional affair
is wrong. She is a married woman and if she had concerns about her marriage than she needed to talk with you about it before falling in love with someone else.
What is your living arrangement now?