when you communicate how much do you hold back? I have a lot of paranoid thoughts, a lot of which seem irrational, strange. plus I have opinions that people might not like me expressing, just the sort of thing that people might not want to hear. I tend to hold a lot of it back when in public places, sometimes I express them when in the company with others but that never ends well, usually ends up with them disappearing... and these are situations where I haven't even said anything "bad", just been emotional and said what I was feeling. part of me thinks its dishonest to not ever talk about how you feel or what you think and that in some ways you will just end up setting yourself up for failure. because the level of expectation in others will be different to the reality. but people always say you should have some filter and saying what I think never works out. I kind of feel conflicted on this.

I read my diary entries and they often seem different to what I actually say to people. so I do censor myself to a certain extent. I am thinking of taking the approach of having no filter in life just saying what I think and to hell with the consequences.