If he told you he prefers women with different color hair, what do you think he was trying to tell you? He married you, so he obviously is into you.

You think he was trying to make you feel insecure, but when you confront him, he says he thought you had dark hair (so he was saying he liked you and your type). Was he demeaning and then gaslighting you? Is it possible he thought your hair was dark? (Men sometimes aren’t that astute about hair).

I’ve had guys who were not interested in me tell me they like other women or types of women. I had one Hispanic man I dated ask me to darken my hair because he preferred that type and he was very interested in me.

I have no conclusion I can draw from your situation on this. You feel so belittled, but he married you, so I’m not sure what he meant.