I agree, that if you understand women, you don't tell them your preference for physical attributes, especially if they don't have those attributes. He very may well be saying these things and making thinly veiled insults to you, and trying to get you hide your figure, etc. because he is insecure about how attractive you are and the reactions you get from other men. That is on him to work out, with your help if needed. It is definitely something to discuss in marriage counseling.

But mulling over it, I have learned, only hurts you. Any time I brood over my wife's behavior, I end up feeling really awful. So in reality I am punishing myself. Also, I am saying that even though it's her bad behavior, I chose her as a wife, so I chose this POS and until I leave her, I am just as much a POS. This doesn't help anybody. I have to catch myself when I do this and remind myself of her good qualities and mine.

This is a deep rooted self image issue that you have to work out so it doesn't hurt so bad, and also try and work it out so that he doesn't keep hurting you.

I am going through similar issues and it's very hard.