There are techniques your wife can use to calm down like deep breathing and things like that. Does she have a counselor or a therapist? They would be able to help your wife find the techniques that work for her--but be aware they don't always work and sometimes people still resort to self harm as a way to deal with emotional pain. You can't want your wife to stop hurting herself more than she wants to. As long as she is getting something out of it, it will probably continue. If your wife does not want to see a counselor or a therapist, I suggest you see one for yourself. A few visits might help you understand more of what is going on with your wife and how you can intervene safely. This must be very difficult for the both of you. I'm sorry for the pain you are both in. HUGS Kit