Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
I accept you as you are. I hold compassion for you as you are. My only thoughts are to seek to learn what you are meant to learn from this and love yourself for being open to change. And... Find a way to process what keeps coming up over and over and over. The psychosis is representative of corrupt data. Talk to us. Talk out loud. Write it down. Analyze your dreams. Call a friend. Call a help line. Join an online support group. I do not have the answer of what will work and only you can know what you need.
You're sharing something with us that is deeply personal and you're looking for a way out. That is very brave. In my experience the doorway to out does not exist though. It is a doorway to 'through' that integrates the experience.
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bpcylist, I don't know how you felt reading the part of fern's post above, but as I was reading it, my eyes started to tear up. Honestly!
You know, if my husband wasn't home for this pandemic, or worse yet, if I was totally alone, I would likely be exactly where you are, or even worse. You are doing your best, under such circumstances. As fern wrote, you are brave, and please don't say you're not!
I clearly understand the reason behind your recent thread wishing for a support house, of sorts. I can say that my father doesn't want to leave his (an assisted living). In a document I created for a neurologist appointment, I mentioned his difficulties with IADLs, and the fears he has expressed. Whether or not they are all psych-related or from other issues, we still don't know. I have trouble with some IADLs, too. Even an ADL, on occasion.
My sister has done some research into hiring professional help to come to my father's home 3 hours per day, if/when he does return home. I think that would be a great solution. I don't know if you would qualify for such help, or could afford it, but as already suggested, it might be a solution.
Have you considered calling NAMI and asking about possible options? I briefly volunteered for their free helpline, and know that my area has some. I would imagine in Portland area, they might, as well. It never hurts to call. Do you live near a NAMI or DBSA meeting location? Have you ever attended a support group at one? Sometimes in-person meetings (which are free) provide more help than just online groups.