A couple things posted on this forum have made me more closely examine "How well am I, really?"

Back in November 2017, I wrote on this topic in my blog. It specifically addressed denial. Not denial that I have bipolar disorder. I've already fully accept that fact. But rather not wanting to be unwell so much that I won't accept/recognize it. This is especially common for me when I'm in mild-moderate depression, especially, or milder hypomanic states.

I am a "half glass full" type, by nature. I have always had high expectations for myself and don't like wallowing in self pity. Very often, I feel like a bird in that when I am sick, I put on a "well act" as some protective measure. Although unlike birds, who do that mostly as a protection from attack, I think I do it as a protection from myself.

I am aware of the fact that my therapist usually thinks I'm much better, mentally, than does my psychiatrist. She'll even tell me "You seem pretty good." In contrast, my psychiatrist is scheduling extra appointments. My husband sometimes figures out reality, but other times not as much. Though I'm fully comfortable with him, I try not to worry him too much, because it hurts him deeply. Plus, he has so much stress of his own to deal with.

Can anyone relate to this tendency towards "denial" of episodes?