I have a suspicion that I know where you are located. And I know of a resource that if you have Medicare and have SSI, you can apply for a company to come in and give you support to do the following, plan a way through, help you to clean, prompts to get things done, and support when you go out. It's a premier agency that a case manager can refer you to. Please pm me and we can talk more.

I do want to say that I know you have more power than you think!! It sounds like you have been to college, you have been through challenges. And sometimes thinking a different way can help.

In the last three weeks, I have been thinking about my own illness. And I want to offer this idea to you and to others. I have thought for years that medication was Everything, and it would help me more than anything else. I was wrong. I am the one with the power to change! I already know the answer, but I am having issues expressing and acting on th plan in my mind.

I saw a YouTube video on Tiny habits. And I thought, what if I stop trying to choose, but just start on something. Doesn't matter what it is, even if it was flossing one tooth. It's something! What can you do that takes 30 seconds? And then do that.

You wrote a lot, meaning that it was important to you to express yourself. I commend you for that. It isn't easy to let anyone in to your own life, and most of all yourself. What can you do today to let yourself in, and become intimate with who you are today?

One thought can change the world. But don't become too overwhelmed, just start somewhere.

I hope this helps, and I know you can start small.