Figured an update is well overdue. I've been hanging in there. Still managing to resist porn, have had some tough moments, again induced by not being careful enough on youtube, but I've largely managed to get out quickly enough once I've realized I'm in a trigger zone. I've had some improvement with weathering my depression, managed to push through and get done some projects I've been needing to get done. Got my chicken coop built, just waiting on trim and osb sheeting for the interior to finish it up, and I've already got my chicks in there, cheep cheeping away. So that was a big weight off my shoulders. We got our garden in as well, with some success already so far. Still waiting on other seeds to sprout up, but we've got beans, onions, and radishes all growing. Waiting on potatoes, peas, and carrots to show themselves (fingers crossed). Also recently got a bunch of cleaning up down around the property, getting my dad's junkyard more organized and less noticeable. All of this has helped me distract myself from my addiction, which is a yay from me.

Next big projects I need to get underway are getting my wood shop built (still just a floor atm), building a root cellar ASAP, and getting firewood stocked up for the coming winter. So I've plenty more to distract myself with.

Finally, while I have been very successful on the porn front... I'm still struggling with erotic literature. During the course of getting projects done and stuff cleaned up, I happened upon a stash of erotic books I had tucked away in storage... and I have failed to stay away twice now. I really ought to get rid of them, but I'm loathe to burn them (I hate burning books), and I still feel like it would be for nought anyway (due to my prior attempts that I've described). I've been able to stay away for about three weeks now, but the struggle is real. And this in turn has led to massive cravings to go on the-erotic-literature-site-that-I-shall-not-name. Almost as difficult to endure as when I first quit porn. So yeah, not all sunshine and dandelions, but, still trucking along.

I should also update how things are on my relationship front. Mostly good, tbh. Our relationship has improved quite a bit, there's a lot less tension between us now, laughter and mutual enjoyment of each other's company comes a lot easier, which is great. However, on the sex end of things, mostly the same. We're still only having sex about once every couple weeks, and when we do have sex, my ejaculation dysfunction is still very present. For both of the last two times, I had to finish myself by hand, and it was a fight up a mountain to get there. Other than that, both times were splendid, but my dysfunction still really put a damper on the mood at the end. I think this is definitely a factor in the frequency of our sex.

That's about it. No miracles, no disasters, just taking it a step at a time. K and I have been discussing doing yoga together, we just haven't had the time to get a proper space cleared up for it. I'm interested in it after learning about the benefits it has for cardio as well as flexibility. I feel like it could provide a massive improvement for me as a fighter, and of course the mental benefits as well. We'll see.