I'm wondering if anyone else has the same experience as me.

L and I have been talking a lot about affection, nurture, comfort, hugs, as well as, needs, wants, and desires. She brought it to my attention today that I put affection and nurture into my nervous system's "danger" category. I'll try to explain more:

I don't think nurture between to adults is normal. She disagrees with me. I understand when a parent nurtures a child, or when romantic partners nurture each other, but otherwise, to me, it just seems inappropriate and wrong.

(Please, I'm not writing this so you all can prove my beliefs wrong. Please don't fight me on my beliefs. L tried to do that today, and I just shutdown.)

L asked if I've ever seen two men hug. I have not. Or two colleagues hug. I have not. She asked how that would make me feel if I did see that. I told her uncomfortable. I told her I'm uncomfortable with our hugs also even though I want them. That I feel like I'm violating her, or stealing something from her. I also told her how I don't like hugging my family even though I allow it. She gave another example: two friends, one's sick, and the other brings over soup and rubs the sick friend's back. We determined that I think it's okay for me to nurture other adults, but not receive nurture from them. That's when she came to the conclusion that to me, recieving nurture is danger warning to my system.

My homework is to watch The British Bake Off? I guess there's nurturing between adults on that show? She wants me to document how it feels to see that.

I did ask my dad about this and interestingly he is sort of the same. He's never hugged another man unless they were European and it was part of their culture. He said he can't even imagine being friends with women, or a friendship hug. He did tell me he thinks I crave nurture because I didn't get that from my mom. And that the nurture I get from L will never be enough.

I'm just curious if I'm alone in this.