Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
Hmm. Well, I am not sure how that works for some of my/our opponents. I am, of course, totally in favor of empathy. Of course. But, let's just say that somehow, some way, I got a meeting with a safe, impartial arbitrator and the detectives who tortured me. Me showing real empathy for them, which I do have, would I think likely result in them responding with something along the lines of: "F*** of and die, you piece of sh**." Or concepts to that effect. They view themselves as victim-saviors and their inner rage knows no limit. So, my expression of empathy is exceedingly unlikely to matter to them. They just want to kick *** and kill people and then tell the world that they are fantastic, savior-victims, suffering mightily for The Cause.
So, I am just not sure how that would work. It is difficult for empathy to reach those who are incapable of experienceing it. To me, the only thing likely to move such persons off such deeply held positions is force. People don't seem to know or remember this, but the United States killed more people on a single day of conventional firebombing of Tokyo than on either atomic bombing runs. And yet, even after Nagasaki, Hirohito still refused to surrender--for days!!! He was a complete psycho and normal, rational human brain processes that apply to the rest of us did not mean anything to this complete nutjob. I believe some of those responsible for human rights violations against metnally ill persons are of the same general moral and neurological makeup.So, for these people, I just do not see love and empathy as having any meaning. For them, this is weakness. They understand power and force. That is their language.
But maybe I am missing something. I am sure I am..
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Do not assume an open show of empathy requires you to interact directly with your aggressors. It does not. If they engage you directly, sure... Go ahead.
I am suggesting though that we internally consider their potential points of view and honor them equally with our ow a d change ourselves accordingly.
The people who abused you have already judged you. They hold deeply seeded beliefs. Perhaps they require interaction with another who is mentally ill or maybe they experience it for themselves before they change. Focusing on their change is not the goal of my suggestion. Creating it within and radiating it is. We cannot control others. I don't expect all to agree with that. It is one idea of many, but I struggle to put much energy into all of the same strategies that fail continuously.
The beliefs you describe about the capabilities of others defeat your purpose before you begin. If you cannot believe that they hold the capacity for change, why do you expect them to change their beliefs about you? We can only create what we are willing to do first ourselves and believe is possible in others.
Consider the physics of the force you suggest. What does it do to bring people closer? What happens in your own mind when you feel forced to swallow a position that does not resonate? You instantly repel.
Imagine you are magnets. If you both are at a position of hate and distrust and belief change is impossible there can never be a meeting. The force will always repel. However, if you flip your polarity to acceptance, you can attract the other side. You can generate flow and change.