Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka
However, the lady who is a fitness instructor and they thinnest woman in the group. She thinks she's 'fat' as her stomach isn't as flat as she'd like it to be. She's tiny as a size XS!
She never treated me like this at first.
What's worse is that they ALL know that I used to be bullimic!
She .. posting a lot of memes about weight gain and fat images in our group texts. The other two women thought they were funny.
Should I say anything to her?
She complains about how fat her husband is and how his belly keeps on getting bigger since he won't stop eating junk food.
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I'm thinking she may have Body Dysmorphic disorder. If she believes she's "fat" in an XS is a distorted view of self, IMO. She may very well have a food sensitivity that's causing mild water retention.. not a fat issue.
Her career choice. Her "fat" memes and "fat" comments about her husband. Her picky eating and repeated judgments against you.. this DOES seem like mental health to me.
She IS judging you. I believe your weight is bothersome to her. HER weight is bothersome to her. Everyone's weight is. The problem is HER. It's not you and I really DOUBT you're as "fat" and "ugly" as she's making you feel.
I would definitely say something. She's your "friend" afterall, and good friends have healthy boundaries. I'd say something to the GROUP, as I feel they've all been insensitive towards you. They've minimized your concerns and having you believe your interpretation of this is all in your head. If someone liked our outfit, I can guarantee you, we'd KNOW about it. Isn't this a form of gaslighting? I don't suspect they realize, though.
I don't think "fat" memes are funny AT ALL. It's hurtful, judgemental, bully-like, and disrespectful to be doing this to a STRANGER.. let alone, a FRIEND who suffered from an eating disorder. They ALL need Sensitivity Training. Where's their compassion and empathy? Of COURSE it would feed into your anxieties and self doubt. You are HUMAN.
What should you say?
"I would like for all the "fat" comments and memes to stop. I find it very judgmental and degrading to others. Lets instead remember that beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes. We all have strengths and areas we need to address, and as good friends, we can motivate each other and be supportive. I care about you all and this issue is problematic for me as I don't find it to be kind. Please respect my wishes."
.... or something rather.
I'd then pay close attention to how they respond to this boundary. If they can't, ditch them all.
I'm sorry you're going through that. That's horrible. They're suppose to be your friends.